Sometimes giving up all hope can set you free. It's a paradoxical philosophy, but it works in some extreme situations. For now, you stop fighting anything and everything. Just be absolutely passive. No chasing after happiness, dreams, rainbows for some time. Hand over the steering wheel to life, and let it carry you. you become a passenger, and life becomes a vocation. It probably sounds like a bunch of theoretical gibberish, but a lot of great people have discovered their path to greatness at one of those pivotal junctures in their life when they gave up any and all hope.

Just a suggestion.