You guys, thanks for all the replies. I'm sorry I haven't made it back here until now. I've just been pretty swamped, on PC and off. I guess that would be avoiding, huh?

I did see T yesterday, and we talked about this issue. The way the discussion went, there are three approaches to coping.

One level is destructive coping. We're all pretty well-versed in that one, aren't we? That's cutting and not eating and anything that hurts us but makes us feel a little better for the moment anyway.

Then there is not coping. That's the one I'm most often guilty of lately, and I'm not sure it's any better. Avoidance could be not coping. Or having a melt down, or hiding, being invisible, staying in bed all day. I'm a lot more likely to stay in bed all day when I don't cut. Or to keep pouting longer. When cutting was my first approach, I would cut and then act normal, hiding what I did and acting normal, but I felt better and was able to carry on.

And then there is positive coping. I expected T to be hard on me and say that reading or hanging out on PC or other distractions were not actual coping since they don't deal with the problem. But she accepted those things. I guess it might be a problem if it were for a long time. If I can't deal with stuff any more, I'm allowed to take a break. But when I can deal with it again, I'm supposed to get back to it and deal with it. I guess that makes sense.