you are right about me not standing up for myself. this friend is not the first one who talks at me instead of with me. i have had several friends like that. one of them would call me but all she did was talk about her marital woes. she hardly paid any attention to my problems and i was feeling deep guilt over my mom's death at the time. she hardly ever asked how i was doing. i finally told her i felt i was being used. she got very insulted and has never called me again. i must say i do not miss that friendship. i did check out the youtube videos but this current friend is also my neighbor and she comes by to chat. she knows my daily routines, so it is not easy to make an exit excuse with her. i think i just need to be honest, but tactful. thank you!