Sorry y'all, I guess I'm just totally confused. I don't know, I just feel like things have changed for some reason. It's a feeling, not a thought, so I don't know how to explain it. This sounds stupid, but I still WANT to idealize him because when I did I felt safe in knowing that he would be able to cure me. A delusion? Yes. I know he couldn't force me to stop idealizing him, but somehow it stopped. (LOL, so since I don't know who's to blame, might as well make it his fault I told him that I hated that I felt more for him (like a father) than he does for me. He told me he wouldn't lie to me to make me feel better. Ouch! I know, I know. He's not my friend, he's my T. He's a human being, I know that cognitively. But somehow my emotions aren't inline with my thoughts. Thanks for all of your posts! I hope this explains my delusional thinking in more detail, LOL. I don't know about myself sometimes Take Care Everyone!