I'm so sorry you're struggling. I don't know what happened but it sounds like you're having a normal reaction to trauma, not that that makes it any easier. You do need to find someone to talk to so you can process your trauma. When my husband died I immediately entered an IOP program so I could process. Well I ended up IP first but no matter.

All I can say is that it will get better with time but you have to process. Maybe writing in a journal would help. Writing letters to the person who hurt you might help. I wrote a lot of letters to my husband.

I'll be thinking of you and sending positive vibes to you.