I am at a point in my life where I just can't take any more suffering. I am totally burnt out mentally, physically and spiritually.
The pain from when I broke my hip May 13 2016 never fully went away so I had a permanent limp which caused all sorts of problems with other muscles of the entire body. I was having med problems, suicidal thoughts and kept telling my wife she would be better off if we divorced so she could get on with life without me constantly dragging her down even though I knew I would die of loneliness without her.

I reluctantly agreed to have an artificial hip put in to stop the physical pain, so on July 13 2017 I had the surgery and I was sent home July 15 with all sorts of restrictions on my movements. I can't even put shoes or socks by myself which just added to the many responsibilities for my wife to tend too. I felt (and still do) like a big baby, always needing mommy nearby.

Within 2 days of getting home I accidentily overdosed on my meds while my wife was at work, this caused me to fall even though I was using a walker. I struggled for hours to get off the floor but to no avail. At one point I did manage to get a telephone but for some reason I could not dial 911 properly. My wife came home about 3-4 hours later an called an ambulance. I not really sure what happened but I do remember getting my wife to take me home while we were waiting for test results.

I guess I spent a full 2 weeks in my computer chair barely able to move because I had strained every muscle in my body trying to get off the floor. My head was bent down and to the right, I could not move it at all. I developed pressure sores on my butt from spending so much time in chair - just another problem to deal with.

I finally reached my breaking point of, misery and severe depression, I am right at this moment on the verge of what I would call a severe mental breakdown, I have been suffering for years and can no longer stand the physical and mental pain from all of my injuries throughout life.

I realized I was in a bad spot though and decided to try posting here before deciding how to proceed.

Please save me!

As the last 3 weeks have been nothing but a blur some things I say might seem out of order or just not make sense so just ask I'll try to think of the correct versions.