I regret that I did not push my sloppy therapist in the past to provide explanations for his behavior. It does not really matter now and I ended it with him when these things became too frequent and there were many other undesirable features as well, so my story is different from yours because mine wasn't a good T otherwise either. But I kind of regret that I did not confront him and asked what it was all about, because I'll never know now and all I can do is make assumptions and, while he really does not matter to me now, the mysterious acts and resulting conflicts do occupy my mind every now and then.

I don't think that there is such a thing as the relationship being too new to question her why she does not keep the commitments you pay her for properly. What I would probably ask is not details, would just tell her that I very much appreciate the help she has provided so far but it is uncomfortable for me to go to appointments repeatedly with her no-show and also feel that my time and commitment is not respected in a professional way, and would like to know why that is and whether it can be changed in the future. I would add that I don't need details but was speculating a lot on how one can forget such appointments, is it maybe some kind of health or serious other personal issue, and if so, can I have some idea what the perspectives are?

I think one does not need to have particular problems around rejection or abandonment to be annoyed by what you describe. I don't, but consider it basic professional etiquette and would be very pi$$ed if it happened to me (I was with my own T who forgot to cancel the appointments and usually am with colleagues that have a habit of not not showing for meetings or being late). It may be interesting to look at why it bothers you but I don't think one needs to do deep analysis to conclude that it is inappropriate on her end and it is perfectly valid that someone is bothered, other issues or not.

If her problem is indeed alcohol-related, as you sometimes think, I mentioned on another thread (where the no-show wasn't even mentioned and you just speculated based on perceived signs and eccentricities) that I could completely imagine it. Because I had been in the alcoholic shoes and this is exactly one kind of thing out of the many secretive seeming mysteries addicts tend to do. It can be especially mysterious in professional life if someone generally has high standards, responsible, does great work when they do it, but there are weird sudden absences, gaps in performance, repetitive excuses, and what seems like high anxiety and discomfort when questioned about due work. I was all those things when I struggled with alcohol and was seriously a mystery to many of my colleagues. I never lost jobs or positions because when I did work, in my own messy ways, it was high quality and very appreciated, and I had many unique professional roles that I created and that could not have been filled easily. I expected people to adapt to me and let me get away with my secret life while at the same time felt intense guilt and shame constantly. I was never confronted directly but was met with a lot of passive aggression from a number of colleagues, which was much worse for everyone. In the end I broke it myself and had honest discussions with a couple colleagues that were my closest collaborators, told them that I had some serious personal issues that I have poor control over and knew that there was no other option but for me to do something finally. No one was blaming and some of those were the most wonderful and helpful conversations, helpful for everyone because my colleagues also kept wondering whether they did something wrong to receive what sometimes looked like neglect from me. We cleared conflicts without ever mentioning alcoholism and things really improved from there. I eventually admitted the alcohol problem to my closest colleague and boss and she was extremely understanding (we all also work in mental health) but made it clear that things had to change. I am just sharing in case something like that is indeed your T's issues. Continuing the ability and opportunity to keep those kinds of deep secrets is the least helpful for everyone, but it is also true that one has to be receptive and open to change for it to have an effect.

Whatever the case, I would definitely ask her about it given that you appreciate her work otherwise. If you don't want to be too direct, perhaps could say that you would like to have a mini-review on your work together so far and take it from there?