"learned help·less·ness"
ˌlərnd ˈhelplisnəs/
nounPSYCHIATRY
a condition in which a person suffers from a sense of powerlessness, arising from a traumatic event or persistent failure to succeed. It is thought to be one of the underlying causes of depression.

You are a very intelligent, well-written person. Time has passed for your parents to teach you life skills. Only you can pick yourself up and learn to live. Just do it. Sending you strength.