Hi, sorry you're getting SH thoughts.

When some people get those urges, they draw "cuts" on themselves with marker instead of actual cutting. It seems to work very well for some and I've seen it lots of times. You could give it a try if you can't hold back your SH urges. It could help you in the interim IMO.

Edit: I am not condoning cutting. Just giving a way of coping in case you feel you can't stop.

And iirc, you have beautiful tattoos on your arms, right? Keep those beautiful