I remember reading about some research that found out prolonged use of ADs can cause more connections between neurons to develop in the brain, and maybe new brain cells as well. That does not sound like brain damage at all.

The first time I woke up after having psych meds I was feeling 'horrible'. Not physically, but from the inside, it was a feeling of worthlessness and brokenness. But later on I accepted the reality and got used to the idea. Things turned from rock-bottom to mmkay to good to great to awesome much faster that I expected. That was until it all came down; all due to my own fault. I have learnt some lessons and stronger than before.

Maybe I would be using one or another AD on and off for the most part of my life hereafter..

Sometimes we just have to accept and make peace with the reality.