I'd always be talking and my abuser would ignore me or would vanish for days, weeks or a month or two and come back. I'd be crying, worrying sick over him and in the end I'd be blame for things that I did when all I did was stand up for myself. I've also notice how my mother ignores me and won't even hear a word I say.

Now I have this habit saying: Are you listening? Hello? Or walk away crying cause I'm being ignored and not being heard. It got to the point where I hated my voice and started calling myself stupid. Anytime I'm sad, I listen to Pink Floyd and can't seem to get these dark thoughts out of my head. Hello. Hello. Is anybody out there? The song speaks to me on a personal level.

I've been ignored most of my life by my mother and by my abuser and accepted it as normal. Often times I hardly speak because I honestly don't think people care enough to listen. This is what truly gets to me and I hope I can recover from it one day...

Often times people label me as crazy cause I suffer from PTSD and crying spells. My mother still continues to ignore me and I end up walking away from her. I can't stand to be near her. Simply tolerate her if I'm in her presence.