My Mom had a flippant attitude about parenting toddlers. She thought she could turn her babies over to another woman right after birth and go back to work. She did it to my brother and he had a bunch of different sitters. That confuses newborns. They cannot see very well and they need to see a consistent face over them to reassure them. My brother was a very angry two year old.

Mom did it to me. I had one same maid/sitter and my two year old brother. The maid had to cook, clean house, wash and iron my parents clothes, etc. so she did not really have time to interface with us. My brother developed his obsession with abusing me during these years. He made me cry all day long. For me he was a surrogate parent, since no adult was there. I loved and needed him. This situation went on from my birth until I was three.

After the age of five I was neglected emotionally by my parents and my brother continued to abuse me.

I loved my Father, Mother, and Brother extremely. For all my life I lived with an emotional pain knot in my stomach but I blocked it out. I now know that I had severe mental and emotional health problems by the age of ten. I would say I had already developed severe dissociative disorder and borderline personality disorder.

It was that emotional pain knot that caused most of my problems in life. I cannot stand it. That is where the substance abuse came from and my acting out.