i was such a GD waste of space in session today. my T finally brought up that i spend most of my time hiding behind a pillow. she brought it up with humor, as is her way...but i don't know, thats just how it goes with me. She asked if I hide behind pillows or my hands when talking to other people, and I was like "Nope..sorry, its just you!"
I am so so angry at myself. I don't know how to ever get over the extreme self-hatred, and I don't think my T knows either. As she brought up me seeing a shaman. I was like "Have you met me?!"
Sigh.
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