I've been doing dangerous things....thinking dangerous things. I upped my dose of AP but not seeing the point since I won't make it anyways. I was never meant to be here and people keep reminding me of that fact. I try to make things better....try to improve things for myself and others but I just make them worse. Thoughts turn to actions and I'm trying to think positive but they won't allow that. They want me to die. That won't end no matter what I do.