I feel extremely jaded because I haven't received the kind of therapy that suited my needs. I've always had to rely on the NHS because I can't afford to go private, which is extremely frustrating, and I've only ever been offered either counselling or CBT.

I developed Social anxiety during puberty, and at 17, asked my doctor for some help because I'd dropped out of college and was worried about my future. When I tried to explain how I felt, he told me that I was a pretty young girl, had nothing to worry about and just sent me on my way! This man had been my doctor since I was a child and I'd never felt comfortable around him because he spoke very little, and when he did, his manner was brusque. He was also well into his 60s when I was a teenager and seemed quite irritated by me so I didn't feel confident enough to insist that he listened to me.

A couple of years later, he retired and I was assigned another doctor who put me in touch with a counsellor, who visited me at my home. This woman was very hippyish and eccentric and would shower me with compliments and told me that we all just 'muddle through' and that I should too. I only saw her for several weeks, and because we only ever talked about general things, it felt pointless to continue. I did see another counsellor when I was 21, and although she seemed more knowledgable than the other, she told me that she wasn't qualified to deal with my issues.

By the time I was 27, having spent a decade trying (and failing) to access the right kind of help, I changed my doctor and she put me on a waiting list for CBT. I had to wait 18 months, which seems like a long time, but that's pretty much standard with the NHS. Of course, over the years, my social anxiety worsened and I became very depressed, and was practically house bound. I didn't know what to expect this time, but I felt positive at the start and really hoped that I'd finally get the help I needed. My therapist seemed pleasant enough and she said that I'd be seeing her for 3 months. In the first session she explained what CBT was and that it was 'proven to work' for people suffering from anxiety and depression. As the weeks went by, I became increasingly frustrated because whenever I tried to open up, I'd go off on tangents and she'd quickly try to change the subject and talk about 'making positive changes'. It felt like she wasn't really interested in my past and only wanted to focus on goals for the future. I just couldn't say or do anything right and I was beginning to feel worse and I was glad when it ended. She made me feel like a failure and it took me a while to get over that.

I'm in my 30s now and had CAT therapy 3 years ago. I was told that it was similar to psychotherapy and that it would be a good fit for me. Unfortunately, it didn't help me at all and found it to be just as superficial and as scripted as CBT. Like before, my T was pleasant at the start, but after the first few weeks she'd try to pressurise me into attending groups and would get annoyed when I told her I wasn't able to. When I told her that I was struggling to deal with all the years that I'd missed out on, she'd just repeat the same scripted phrases about being positive, and implied that I didn't want my situation to change. She was very condescending at times, almost to the point of infantilisation, and then she'd remind me that I was an adult in my 30s!

One week, we were discussing Autism, and she said that she would put me forward for an assessment... 6 weeks later I was diagnosed with Aspergers and everything began to make sense. The following week, when I told my T about my diagnosis, we decided to end my sessions with her due to my lack of progress. She appeared quite flummoxed and told me that the NHS doesn't provide therapy for people on the spectrum. So that was that.

I've felt marooned ever since because I didn't receive any after care, and there are no more options for me now. If my Aspergers had been noticed sooner, I might not have developed social anxiety or depression as coping mechanisms. My life just feels like it has never been my own and my problems now seem insurmountable.

I would be very dubious about attempting any kind of therapy now, unless I could find an affordable T who understands Autism.