It's all round not a nice situation for anyone to be in.

Honestly, as a parent of my own 13 year old girl, I wouldn't let her fly 3000 miles to visit someone, no matter how close of a friend they were. Absolutely 150% no way.

I think that when you initially spoke to the mom, she may have made a rash decision on the phone, and then realised, when speaking it through with her husband, that they were not comfortable with this.

I think that the tragedy in this whole situation is a feud between two parents, which could now land up costing a friendship between two friends. I don't think the last exchange of text messages will be easily forgotten by her parents.

They are entitled to change their mind, and yes, the implications completely suck and any child in her shoes would be rightfully devastated.

But if ever you were in the situation again, somewhere down the line, I urge you nicely to please let your inner conflict remain your own inner conflict, and to really not go down the root of giving nasty replies to your daughter's potential new friends. My daughter certainly has parents of her friends who there's lots I could have said to, but choose not to.