In today's day and age I think this is pretty normal. As far as contacting your employer, it's a little questionable but as long as they just asked "can you confirm so and so works here" it's no harm done really. If employers have aright to check references, I think it's reasonable to check references with someone we date too. Dating is more consequential than working in most ways. Perhaps your fiancé was seriously burned in the past and the family is over protective. It's easy to judge people for being over protective but I'd prefer it over being under protective. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.....it's not just a cliche, it's very, very true.