This person that she is refusing to name who made the checks has totally bugged me. On the surface her family seemed 'normal' and friendly and now in a way I feel betrayed, kind of like they have gone behind my back in essence to verify my credentials.

My boss hasn't said anything to me and nor have I to them but still it makes me feel a little awkward around my colleagues now through no fault of my own.

I think you are right, these do seem to be red flags and IMO 'normal' people wouldn't and don't go to these lengths to verify a new partner.