I hear a lot of this within the addiction community, even among addiction counselors. i.e. If you're not an addict or alcoholic, then how can you understand? Too, many alcoholics and addicts feel better about working with someone who inspires them by having 'beaten' this thing themselves. I get it. Don't know that I agree, but I get it. I mean, I can't throw away the 'inspirational' element out of the mix - if you're inspired by one counselor because they have twenty years clean and sober, but not inspired by a second counselor because they've never faced addiction personally, then you should probably go with counselor number one, but it becomes more about your personal prejudices and beliefs than about the counselor's competency at that point. I know that the word 'prejudice' carries a negative tone for most people - didn't mean it that way, just meant it matter of factly.

My therapist is awesome. I've had quite a few and have seen this one enough times (perhaps 100 sessions) to make that determination. I know more or less nothing about her mental health history although she has dropped some tidbits of information over the time I've seen her and she knows that I pick up on everything she says - or doesn't say. Such is the blessing and the bane of hyper-vigilance.

For instance, she has told me that she was in counseling before - though she has also mentioned that seeing a counselor was part of her requirements for all students while getting her degree. She has a beautiful picture of her and her young son on her office wall. I commented that it implied a beautiful relationship between mother and son. She quite deliberately shared with me that both her and her husband had often commented that they wish their relationships with their parents had been like that. Things like that.

There are other things. I try to explain something and then she comes up with a completely off the wall, out of left field, and unexpected example that describes how I am thinking or feeling better than I did, letting me know that she really, really gets it.

So I know a little, but chief among the things I know is that my life is better since I've began seeing her.