He lost his job.

Right now he went out. We're both devastated. Our life has fallen apart. Although, for me, it never was solid anyway.

I want to go to him and hold him, tell him everything will be alright. But then, again, I will be the leader and he is the passive, submissive one, the receiver.

I can't bring myself to go and be what he wants me to be. I am too bitter how he was not there for me in the way I needed.

I'm sitting here torn.

It's all just acting. I don't know what is really in my heart. I'm just exhausted and stuck in this rocking chair.

I'm too numb.

Sure, I can imagine the scene where I gaze into his eyes and say my lines. And he loves it, all is well. We're strong because we have each other. But I'd just be acting and I can't do it anymore.

Should I just act and make my life easier?