Quote:
Originally Posted by Artchic528
Hun, it doesn't need to be physical abuse to be an abusive situation. He's abusing you by neglecting the cleaning and leaving you in a pig sty of a home. Worse than a pig sty, actually, as no self respecting pig would want to live in that squalor.
You need to first recognize that you're are in an abusive situation, and that you need to escape it. I know having OCD can be hard, and it complicates leaving any familiar area to go live in a new area you're not comfortable with, but enough is enough.
Honestly, you could be arrested for leaving your cats in the appalling condition they are living in. It's considered animal abuse to deny any animal a clean living environment (that means access to clean litterboxes at all times too), access to clean water and regular feedings, and basic medical care. You must also have all your cats spayed and neutered so that they don't reproduce at all. Having just one female and one male unaltered (aka not fixed) can rapidly spiral out of control and you will wind up with well over 2000 cats in 4 years time. You as a cat guardian are obligated to provide your cats the care they need, and deserve.
No access to clean litter boxes, feces and urine everywhere, who knows how regularly you or your boyfriend can get them their basic medical care, let alone regularly feed them and give them clean drinking water. These reasons, plus their feral state due to little to no socialization makes me think that it's a hoarding situation. I know you feel it's a dirty word, but it's hoarding, plain and simple. It doesn't need to be a large number of cats to be a hoarding situation. You need to recognize this, no matter how much you feel it isn't, it is. The first step in getting out of this situation is accepting that you have a hoarding problem via your cats, and that you need help. Call your local Humane Society ASAP as the longer your cats are exposed to the absolute filth they are forced to live in, the sicker they will become and the less able they will be to recover from their illnesses.
If you won't do it for yourself, do it for them. They never asked to be forced into such a situation and they can't get themselves out of it without your help. Please don't let such innocent lives suffer because of your mental health. It's just plain unfair to them.
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I sometimes think it's abusive, but he would be livid to hear I think that, and people who know him would. He's a good guy overall, but fails in this aspect. I think it is comes from the home he grew up in.
I will let you know the cats are fed and given clean water regularly. But vet care is where we fall short, and, as said, cleanliness. I have asked my boyfriend to get them checked and fixed (since I'm on Social Security, I qualify for $10 spaying/neutering by my vet, as long as they have enough forms, which are limited, but not counting shots and other treatments), and I know he's struggling financially, too (I keep hearing and finding out about bills late), but I just want the best for my cats, I really do.
I'm giving him this one last chance, then I will be calling the officer from animal control (I don't know her number, but I know her name and can find the number). I don't want to give them all up, but you're right, something has to be done. I think I mentioned this, but five are fixed.
Speaking to the psychologist made me feel a bit better, even though there's still a lot to go over. I think it's cleared my head a bit.
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