Rapunzel,I see it was Juda who prasied her, now after rereading.

But he was also the one offering his sons,like they really had no chocie...I also see he did not let her have Shelah since he was afraid he'd die like Onan

All looks like no choice for them,I dont see where Onan agree'd like he actually had a choice,or was wicked only that God thought him not wanting to get her pregnant and raise the children as his brothers by spilling his sperm,was wicked and why he slew him..since this was the only reason given that Onan did this

Looks like God did not give them a choice to me, and they were controled by God..someone in this family had to do it