Quote:
Originally Posted by bpforever1
I am the same way. I know what you are feeling. I am lonely too and want to be liked. However, buying things for others is not going to buy their friendship. So, I just wait to see the reaction of these people for whom I buy things. If they don't reciprocate or don't offer me anything in return, I drop them. It makes me feel a whole lot better, that is, knowing that I'm being used and knowing that dropping them will make me feel better about myself. Who needs friends of convenience. I say it is better to be alone than be lonely with others. I enjoy my company now more than ever and still go out of my way to treat others occasionally but only to a point. Friend who is there in the time of need is a true friend indeed. All others can take a hike. Please don't be a doormat-if you feel like you are being used, you probably are being used. Cut the users and be truly free. Loneliness is a state of mind. You can be lonely being with others too as we both know. Enjoy your time alone by doing things you like. Go out to the park or to the beach and people watch. Or, go to the library and read a good book. Or, just listen to music on the Internet or watch free movies on youtube. There are many things you can do besides finding validation from others. You need to love yourself first before others can love you. I wish you the best!!
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Thank you!

I've had an especially hard day. Nothing particular happened today, it's just what I keep visualizing. Over and over in my head plays the recent event, where I didn't stand up to a friend, who overstepped boundaries when it comes to asking for a favor. I keep replaying what I should have said and done. It is hurtful when you find out people just don't have your best interest at heart. I am so mad at myself though! Plus, my anger keeps growing and growing towards the person too. I want to get rid of all this anger! It's killing me.