Yeah the only thing that gets me ****ed up is the delusion that was scary however after experiencing it once I believe I can check it if it ever appeared again. I went 2 years med free. But I promised my mom as long as I am living with her I will take the meds. But I feel like they are making me worse cause I've never experienced SI or this low of confidence and self esteem and not being able to imagine or feel my brain think is slowly eating at me. I'm on 750 lithium and take seroquel for sleep as needed but I'm gonna try and sleep without it tonight. I really wanna try going without them again someday