Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
Here it is... long ago in a galaxy far far away... women could not work or in anyway care for themselves by law. Fathers knew that they had to find men to care for their daughters once they passed. They did it by marriage. Which was a contract. This contract was for life. Otherwise the father wouldn't get the benefit of the bargain. Safety insured for their girls.
It was.. you get a woman to bear your children and have sex with forever and probably some money in the form of a dowry -- IF -- you take care of her *till death do you part*.
So if a guy cheated it was a breach of contract because it put the woman wife in danger that you wouldn't take care of her. You had to marry one woman and couldn't get a divorce because that destroyed the entire system. And would leave women uncared for.
When women got liberation - society just couldn't give up the system and devised ways to try to keep people "trapped" in these relationships. Because marriage overall is good for society. Not the individual. The story was recast as "love" yes people got married due to "love" and they stayed together because -- it was love and love, tru luv, was forever.
But then in the 60s that didn't work either. 50% of marriages broke up and even though it makes less sense than ever society continues to try to brainwash these ideas on society so that they can maintain people trapped in bad marriages and trapped in bad jobs because they have to provide for bad marriages and kids.
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I agree with most of this - up to the last two paragraphs. I believe people decide if they want to marry bc their love is strong enough or if they would rather live together or etc. I know couples that have lived together 13+ years and never married even though they love each other completely. I have met couples who prefer to live in separate residences even though they love each other completely. I know people who married for love and later divorced. On the other hand, I also know people who married for love and continue to grow closer to each other. I know people who married for convenience, though it's no longer convenient to be married anymore.
Societal laws have actually started to frown upon marriage. Not in a outwardly forthcoming way, but in a silent and sneaky way. For instance, I will use my husband and I as examples. We lived together almost 3 years before we married. We are on disability, so we receive Medicare. Medicare is NOT free. It costs over $100/mom that is automatically deducted from the disability check before it's ever sent out. We couldn't afford those kind of deductions, so we applied to receive either QMB or SLMB. QMB pays all of Medicare premium, while SLMB pays part of it. We each qualified for SLMB. We informed them we were living together and they said that was fine. We got married in June, now...we no longer qualify for SLMB. Why? Our monies haven't changed. We still reside under the same roof. We have not moved. All our finances are the same. .... Social Security told us it is because we are married now and that changes everything - even though we lived together, we could receive help because by law they cannot add our incomes together, but still use the bracket for "household of 2" but now that we are married the law says they have to combine both our incomes and assets together and use the bracket "household of 2". So in effect, they punished us by taking away over $200/mo simply for being married. Something we were not aware of til now. Also, it's really a governmental trap now I feel. I did some research on divorce laws here in my state. In order to divorce here, you must first be legally separated for 1 year, and reside within this state for at least 6mo before the court date. Also, general insurance premiums raise when you marry. Marriage is no longer looked upon in a favorable light by the government imho.