Thread: Being seen and loved and cared for
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Old Dec 24, 2007, 04:15 PM
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dinosaurs dinosaurs is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2007
Location: on the path to healing
Posts: 785
Thank you so much for verbalising this. I have been telling my T that I don't exist to my mother. I am simply there to hold a mirror up to her. When I hold the mirror up I am invisible and do not exist in her eyes. My focus lately has been on understanding this and on learning to drop the mirror so she has to see me.

I had never considered that she should be holding a mirror up to me.

Thank you so much for sharing. And I am so glad that you finally have a safe mirror reflecting back at you now. There is huge magnitude in what you have said. Sending you warm thoughts.
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He said that we can email as MUCH as we want (100 times per day). Believe in this - it is challenging fears about being punished. It is okay to be seen. You are not a nuisance. "Too much" simply means exploration, not punishment/withdrawal. Trust in him.

Not looking at him is about keeping aspects of self hidden/secret. We know that is not the healthy choice. Keep working on this - you will get there.

Accept there are parts. Be kind and gentle with them. Working with parts and feelings is the key to happiness. We have been happy before when listened to them and accepted them and were open to feelings. Write in your journal - it is safe to do so.
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