Today has been a rough day.....I'm so easily overwhelmed in life.....my ability to serve myself and my future has been compromised for far too long and nothing I do seems to change it or increase my ability to function past the frustration. I get overwhelmed and can't do even the simplest of tasks no matter how much coping and positive self talk I engage in. It's too much....I'm angry about it. I know I can't help it so being angry at myself isn't where I go......I feel angry at random weird things like aliens, people who have nothing to do with my current situation, people in general, life as a whole. Why am I here? Not on PC but this earth? Who is to blame besides my parents I wonder? What is the meaning of all this and why can't I be privy to the information I seek? Who the heck put us here and are they torturing me intentionally or am I looking to blame when it's all just random blobs of randomness? Why do I over think everything? Why do I care so much....why why? Why, why, why? I got a new phone and I'm lucky but it's such a pain in the arse to figure out....I lost valuable data on my old phone because I'm too stupid to keep a backup or important information. It will work itself out I imagine but my body hurts from all this tension from being overwhelmed....I hate being angry.....nobody is inclined to want to help angry people and I'm not stupid enough anymore to think I can make it without help. I need to go to my parents tonight to write a letter to my grandparents, informing them my parents can no longer take care of them. They need to go into assisted living and that is breaking my heart. I don't want to do it but I really need to. *SCREAM*. I need to scream......to get this ugliness out of me. I wish it were safe for me to drive but it's not safe when I'm upset.....I'd like to drive to the country and scream and cuss and stomp and curse. Thank you for letting me vent. Sorry I needed to unload. I think I need another hot bath to calm my nerves and soothe my bones and muscles.