Boogie, some women really prefer bigger men. I always did. When I was in my late 20's I went to a work function and the guy painting my sons face must have been over 400lbs, no lie. He asked me out and I said yes. My friends son who was 19 asked me what the heck was wrong with me and if I was willing to go out with that guy, I should go out with him instead.....nobody understood why I would go out with the larger guy. I did because to me he was cute, confident and friendly. And I was a pretty cute girl in my day (not bragging or maybe I am but it was true) so please stop making excuses hun.....learn to love yourself where you are at and stop spending time building roadblocks which prevent you from obtaining what you want in life. I know it's not as simple as making excuses, it's much deeper but in the end that is all it really is....stuff you tell yourself which serves no purpose other than staying stuck. With compassion ((hugs))