IVe never heard that therapy relationships and other real life relationships are the same. It seems obvious to me that there are differences.

I can think of lots more:

- in any other relationship than a therapy relationship or a child/caregiver relationship, you practice turn-taking in conversation. You share interest and enjoy each other's company, but you would never usually speak about yourself only for 50 minutes, bar some kind of emergency situation.
- People don't list themselves in directories or advertise on internet to recruit friends. Internet dating sites look quite a lot different to therapist websites.
- You don't study and receive a specific qualification which qualifies you for friendships or romantic relationships. You don't check with others whether they are qualified to be a friend or a romantic partner.
- Most people do not have a time-oriented goal in their mind in which they are going to try to intervene in other people's lives, in their real life relationships, in order to try to resolve perceived problems. We might of course be supportive, or be helpful when we are asked to do something the other person finds specifically supportive or which we realise we could do. But we don't approach life with the basic assumption that this is what our role in Other's lives consists of, and neither do other people. (I said most - because I think there are some people who DO approach real life relationships like this, but between adults it is generally seen to be not a very healthy approach - codependency and so on).
- GPs don't keep a list of qualified friends, to refer people to if they feel lonely.
- Clinical advisory bodies such as NICE in the UK don't regularly publish guidance on what is seen to be the best type of real life relationship for different people. Of course they would point out that this is because people's real-life relationships are not being funded by the NHS...

Clearly the list could go on for a long time.

Having said that, I do get where the confusion arises for us the clients - because our emotions are our emotions, and they are often fully involved in a therapeutic relationship, as they would be in a close friendship or a romantic relationship. And yet the therepeutic relationship is also a business transaction and a part of the therapist's career and their job. I think emotionally that does get confusing. Add to that the fact that for some people like myself it's really the first experience of a relationship where the other person is consistently kind and caring. It can feel confusing. I was speaking to my T about this just the other day. He agreed that the therepeutic relationship can feel confusing, especially where the client has no previous experience of a caring relationship.