"could you tell me what, in your estimation, makes it such a bad lie? i have my reasons. i'd like to hear yours."

I thought by asking him for a photo first I was somehow safeguarding I don't know what. I was new to the whole online dating thing, and I got scared and deactivated my account shortly thereafter. I asked for a picture because he asked me for a photo and I didn’t believe he was going to send one…I thought it was some kind of game. Yes, I was naïve, I was an idiot. I didn’t even know it was called a **** pic. Again, I thought it was a game, and I was really wrong about that. I wish it had never happened, but it did. I made a mistake. I didn’t know what I was doing. Perhaps I was in a fugue state of my own…how am I supposed to know? What I can tell you is that it never happened again. And then he started stalking me." Regarding her getting turned on by the photo: "As I told you I described a physiological response. I’d never seen anything like it.”

Sorry I did not notice this but really, Bill3, has the most insight about this.

I've highlighted what seems weird. In my experience (I am also in my 50s), most guys seem less shy about being naked than women so I assume many would not be shy about sending a **** pic and I am totally new to social media--this is just something I know from dating in the 80s.

When my husband asks me about things that I feel uncomfortable about, I sometimes start talking nonstop nonsense. Much of it means nothing and just comes out of my mouth because I am avoiding something he has asking. Automatic defensiveness rather than words that reveal my true inner thoughts. But seriously, if this all happened before she met you, it just sounds like an impulsive act that you are getting way to worked up about. Sometimes good people lie when they feel ashamed or expect to be judged.