Thinking more about my relationship with my own therapist... I hire her for her psychological expertise. She is specifically trained in treating trauma and she has the skills to recognize and guide me through my triggers and physiological trauma responses. I have to have a sufficient relationship with her in order to trust her enough to be vulnerable with her and i do trust her. She is very good at the things I need her to be able to do.
Because i have a history of trauma and also attachment trauma and because i am sharing vulnerable aspects of me with her there are attachment issues involved. But she is able to support me with that too while maintaining the therapeutic boundaries. i know that the space of that hour a week is our space to work. I appreciate the boundaries and limits of the therapeutic relationship. They are what makes the work safe for me.
That is the reality of the therapeutic relationship for me. What happens in that hour is authentic for me and it is contained within that space. my therapist does her job and she does it well. She is hired to help me with those specific things I need help with and I trust her to work within the treatment frame to help me to the things I need to do.
It is a relationship that is different to any other. It demands emotional intimacy but has strong boundaries around it. It might seem like an oxymoron to some but it is the intimacy within those boundaries that enable meaningful change to occur.