hummingbird 1 wrote: I believe a person should go with there gut instinct, We have gut feelibgs for a reason and it is called intuition, If I found out what you found out, I would be highly upset, I would not trust her at all, How do you know if she is still doing it or not, You dont, Just go with your instinct, It will never let you down, I dont think I could stay with a person that is lying to me and communicating with other men, Without trust, You have nothing.

I agree, in the main, but my gut instincts might not be all that reliable, given my overall mental health . That said, in this situation, I'm sure she is lying. But I don't think it's malicious. She's trying to save her self image, as well as our relationship, so to the degree that I believe that, maybe I should cut her some slack.

She no longer wants to talk about this or the past, naturally, but I'm somewhat inclined to forge on ahead with her and see if she continues to lie when put in a stressful situation. This might be foolish of me. And, in fact, I might not be able to do it. If the trust thing continues to infect my dreams, both waking and sleeping, then I'll have no choice but to cut things off.

hopingtrying writes: But seriously, if this all happened before she met you, it just sounds like an impulsive act that you are getting way to worked up about. Sometimes good people lie when they feel ashamed or expect to be judged.

Yes, the dic pic incident happened before she met me, but the lying about it, obviously, happened while I was with her, and yes I do believe she lied about it because she's ashamed of how she behaved. But she's also been having problems maintaining no contract with her ex, and that worries me. And, well, for all I really know, she could still be having those problems and still be engaged in dic pick soliciting. I don't think she's doing the latter but how would I ever know, except by snooping further, which I'm not inclined to do, perhaps at my peril.

As well, I could argue that it could not have been a purely impulsive act, since it unfolded over a period of time. I mean, the picture she sent to him was taken by a guy friend of hers who had to know what she was up to and decided to join in on the fun. And it had to have gone on long enough for something in their back-and-forth turning him into a stalker. So, she had plenty of time to reflect on what she was doing and either stop it or continue.



You mentioned that you only see her once a month, if I read correctly. If that's the case, you don't have an exclusive relationship with her

By definition? I don't know. You could be right, despite our stated intentions. But I'll never know.