No I haven't always been like this. I was "bubbly", compassionate, felt love, trust, but now nothing, apart from the anxiety.

I just feel numb and think maybe both my T and I are giving up on it being different for me.

I would like to grab back the old me, but at least it is better how I am now, rather than being "hijacked" by that self destructive part of my brain.

I do feel truely broken.