You sound like his carer, and in doing that does it give you an identity.?

Take him out of the picture and who are you.?

Do you really want him capable of taking care of himself?
Because often ways the only way to do that is to let them hit rock bottom.

In all honesty it sounds like neither of you should be involved in a relationship just now.

Have you considered that your drowning yourself in his issues to avoid dealing with your own? (I am sure you have.)

Look you can't change him, so here's the question, can you be with him if he never changes, if THIS is as good as it gets?

The only thing you can change is how you 'choose' to interact with him.

He may well not be bad, but he is careless, thoughtless and ignorant and at a certain age in life that is just as bad,because it means your not making the effort to learn from your mistakes. And to hell with how it effects those around you.

This guy has very profound deep rooted issues. He needs professional help. And whilst this may not be a very pleasant thought have you considered that the situation between you is probably impacting pretty negatively on him too.

I hope your able to gain some perspective and make the right choice for torrential and emotional well being.
Take care.