AWWWWWW... Its wonderful that he has you to support him. I'm sure he does love you, but he has so much pain inside. Sometimes I am like that. The pain of your past can make you build up walls. I can't tell you what is right to do, but if it was my husband. I'd try to listen. I'd gently try to get him to talk about all the stressful things he's been dealing with (deployment, abusive past, father dying, depression, new family), and once he acknowledged it, I would show him that any person would need support in dealing with all that. I'd use his awareness of his issues to encourage him to find a therapist (I'd suggest you do the research to find a few in advance in case he is not able to do the work himself to find one. ) I'd also let him know that you love him and your not going to leave him or change you feeling for him even though he is struggling. Pray for him, love him, support him

Also... couples therapy might be good to. Make sure you get support yourself.

esthersvirtue