Thank you so much for saying that. In fact, I have the numbers of several places for him to go and talk to someone when he's ready. He says he wants to, but after the holidays. I think I must have mistyped, his father is alive and well, as is his mother. His mother and father divorced when he was 4 years old and he and his sister were raised by their father. He's only had contact with his mom about 6 or 7 times since he was 4, he is now 35. Last year, his sister decided she wanted her mom in her life, so she is starting a relationship with her mom. My husband and his sister have spoken 1 time in over 2 years (that was when she called to say a family member passed away). Their family does not communicate at all!!! My family is the polar opposite, we talk so much, it's probably overboard (2 to 3 times a day and we are on different coasts). My husband learned of his sister's new relationship with their mom through his dad, who made an *** of himself, in my opinion stating over and over again, "how could she do this to you (my husband), she didn't eve call you, how could she just forgive 30 years of abandonment?" It just feels like he's trying to keep my husband under his thumb. I feel like my father-in-law is very distructive to my husband's mental health. Year's ago, my husband asked his dad why he treated him so mean when he was growing up, his response was "well, you weren't that great of a kid". My husband has not said a word about this subject to his dad since then. One of the most vivid memories my husband has repeatedly shared with me was of high school time. His sister had a boyfriend, whom his dad adored. While my husband and his sister were required to buy their own groceries and school clothes, their dad bought clothes for this boy and new tires for his car and a new stereo, etc. My husbands friends even knew about this and other kids gave my husband a hard time about it. I talked with my sister-in-law (unknown to my husband), she says she remembers this and it was weird. She said she broke up with that boy because her dad took him to see another girl. After she broke up with him, her dad said he could always come to the house even if she wasn't dating him. After high school and college, she got married and the day after she was married she returned to her dad's house to get some things and that boy was there with her dad. My sister-in-law thinks her dad had some type of affair with this boy, and I feel the same way. Only, now my father-in-law is a Lutheran Minister (whatever) and would never own up to being gay or an abusive father. My husband feels like this kid was a better more likeable kid than he was and there must have been something wrong with him to make his dad love this other kid instead of him. See what I mean? LOOOOOOOng story.