First, I want to tell you that you write BEAUTIFULLY! Reading your story reminded me of reading a novel, I was on the edge of my seat and appreciated the honesty you had and willingness to see your own faults and warts. You are not pretentious and have insight into yourself very few have. If you use it correctly, it will serve you well. You know what the "best" way to handle it was but can admit your humanity....so few people have this gift.