Quote:
Originally Posted by Calilady
I def idealized my former T. Told her as much. We never talked about why or what was going on underneath that.
New T talked to me about it today, though. He said that sometimes clients idealize their T's, when we really don't know them. He talked about how we create a fantasy in our head of a person we don't really know anything about and that the fantasy is much better than the reality.
He went onto say that focusing on the T relationship is a bit of avoidance in its own right and that healthier behavior would be to go towards connections in everyday life that could fulfill our needs. The T relationship is an unavailable one and shouldn't be treated like a replacement for friends, family, and loved ones and so on. We went on to talk about why I was drawn to my T and the people I have in my life.
My first T would have NEVER talked to me about this. My question is, has yours?
To be fair, former T did say that if I ever got to the point of counting down minutes to my T appointment, that would be something we would have to discuss. I did count the days, but never got to the hours/minutes countdown.
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My T has talked to me about this and said pretty much the same things