I'm in the type of therapy that focuses on the relationship, so yes, we discuss the relationship feelings all the time.

The idealizing transference is the same thing as 'falling in love'. I no longer think about him constantly (that was a phase) but still do quite a bit.

Your T has some good points, but my T would likely say the opposite in regard to the avoidance--not getting attached and not talking about feelings and projections that arise from the therapy relationship would be the avoidance. It's just a different philosophy.