odessy,

what a wonderful wife and friend you are! you seem to be such a wonderful person.

have you thought of the possiblity that your husband may have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from childhood? this is not just for vets, etc. me and my siblings all have PTSD from our 23 yr. marine corps father. long story as well.

what your husband does, sounds alot like what we have and still do go through. your husband needs to work through all of the ugliness when he feels he can. one reason it might be coming up to bite him right now is, sometimes when the mind feels the most secure in the present life, it feels it's safe enough for the old crap to come out. it's very very difficult to deal with. when so much goes on in a person's life, they don't have time to react or deal, because they're dealing with the next event. might this be the same for your husband? and now all the things he couldn't emotionally deal with then cause so much was going on, feels safe enough to come out now.

i would strongly suggest a counselor who deals with childhood abuse and PTSD.

i pray so for your precious family. memories of abuse (and lack of understanding it) is hell on earth. i understand...you're a wonderful person to want to be so supporting.

please let us know?

be safe,

kd