My impression of what you are doing, from what you wrote, is that you are aware of the things you are doing that are harmful and destructive to yourself and to others, but that you don't have much desire to change, and stop doing those things. You express concern about your mother (although not for yourself), but you don't show your concern to her. Instead you act defiant. Have you thought about why you do that? What are you getting out of that (feelings, rewards, etc.) that keeps you acting that way? And where would you like to be in terms of your life and who you are as a person? What do you need to do or change now, in order to get closer to your goals?

One concept that I have talked to the girls I work with about, that seemed to have an impact with a lot of them, is cognitive dissonance. People sometimes act in ways that are not consistent with their beliefs, which causes discomfort. So they change their beliefs in order to feel better about what they are doing. We don't usually notice that we are doing that, but since you said you are doing "such uncharacteristic things," I wonder if you can identify what values or beliefs you have that you are violating, and what excuses you are giving yourself in order to live with that. You wrote about some of them in your post. Ask yourself if you really believe those excuses. It's easier to change our thinking than to change our behavior, but changing your thinking just gets you further tangled up. Changing your behavior to be consistent with what you know is right and what you know you need to do, and can do, is the way out of your dilemma. It isn't easy, and you will probably need help. You said that you have good therapists at school, and it sounds like your mother loves you and wants to help you too. And you can always come here for support. Let these people help you, ok? That means you will have to stop fighting against them, and you will have to be honest both with them and with yourself.

I wish you all the best. You can change. I know other people who are overcoming the same issues that you struggle with, and being able to express these things to us here in such an honest and straightforward way has you that far ahead of the game. You can do anything if you set your mind to it.
((((((((hugs)))))))))) if ok.