I don't think behavior can be twisted that easily; behavior is a choice. While we cannot always control what we think or feel we can what we "do" about it. I would get a therapist, Matt, as Echoes suggests, and explore the ways in which you feel helpless about your behavior. It sounds like you are giving those around you too much power or projecting negative feelings on them.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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