Is this the first time youve mentioned the rape? I dont recall you ever saying anything before. Did you get therapy at the time? Did you talk about it when you were in counseling recently? It kind of explains your drinking (before sex) and your other remarks. Sort of a cavalier attitude. I can identify with that - we're abused, and there is no allowance for our feelings, so we act tough, but are really very fragile. And yeah, how can your husband never have picked up on that? But hes not a shrink.