Thanks. I guess what has had me feeling like crap all week is the fact that it is my birthday today, yet I have nobody to spend it with. I couldn't go see my relative because I couldn't make it to the bank to deposit money to buy an Uber or Lyft to the Greyhound terminal to go so him because it has been thunderstorming all morning/afternoon.

I guess I'm just tired of fighting all of the time just to get to the point where I can become a likeable person. I've been fighting so long just to get to the point to where I am now, yet it still isn't good enough. I'm still not worthy of other people that aren't messed up like me and until I get to that point, I am going to continue to be lonely and miserable. That pain will have to be my guide to get ahead in life.

Oh well, it is lonely at the top. Few climb Mount Everast and live to see the view at the top. What I'm destined for is greatness at the cost of my own social life. Once I fight my way to the top no matter the cost, only then will I be worthy of respect and love.

At least, that is what I tell myself to motivate myself to work on improving my life.