I know that you're trying to help me and I'm sorry that I seem dismissive of your advice.

There was a time when I was a much more of a likeable person. However, several years ago, I sold out to darkness. I was so tired of dealing with abuse and torment every day by my mother on top of never having enough food or being able to take care of myself that I vowed to get myself out of such a situation no matter the cost. I did a lot of shady things and hurt people just to get my needs taken care of. I basically lived a lifestyle akin of a cyberpunk character.

Now, I don't think I'm worthy or deserving of love because of how messed up of a person that I am. All I do is hurt people and push others away who try to help me. All I care about are my own tech-obsessed ambitions in life. Nothing and nobody else matter.

I crave love but I am going to have to find a way to suppress these cravings to fulfill my purpose in life so that I may one day prove myself worthy of other people.