It's a change. Change is hard. That's what your mind is flipping out over most n finding all sorts of "reasons" to hide that one true reason. You said you have been doing well. What causes you to feel that may not continue to be the case? If you do falter, won't they just hospitalize you n put you back on the treatment level you are now? If you have reason to believe you need hospitalization, can you not request an evaluation?