I'm sorry your boyfriend is being so unhelpful... negligent is actually the word that comes to mind but I don't know him so maybe I'm being too harsh. Do you have any family you can go to? Or friends? Maybe being out of that environment would help de-activate you a bit.

I've been there with the chicken and egg thing - I use something when I'm contaminated, I get clean, then I can't use that thing anymore. When my OCD was at its worst the way that I would get unstuck is to use latex gloves while using Clorox wipes on the thing (e.g. my computer), ditch the gloves, and then shower. CBT helped me get better with that.