When you are able to forgive yourself then you can forgive others. There may be others that don't deserve your forgiveness but forgiving helps the forgiver more than the people they forgive. Of course, forgiving does not mean you have to associate with the people who were toxic to you. It is about letting go of the past's terrible grip on you. Obviously this is not easy when you have had a rough childhood. But so many people at PC (including you) beat up on theirselves all of the time. I do it too. Go easier on yourself.

Your have to love yourself. When you can forgive your mistakes and imperfections then it is easier to love yourself. You have a lot to offer. No one is 100% good. Everyone has a breaking point. Everyone needs love and acceptance. Insecurities about having the most basic things (like food and shelter) are the worst kind of stress to deal with. It is hard to work on loving yourself during times when you are barely meeting your basic needs. Your life hasn't been easy but you have a plan to improve it. I commend you for this. I actually think you have your priorities in order. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first so long as you are not hurting others. You have said you have hurt others in order to survive. That is in the past and you need to forgive yourself concerning these things and move on. The fact that you feel bad about it tells me that you are essentially a good person.