Quote:
Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend
I'm not entirely sure of the exact reasons why I feel the way I do, however, if I were to guess, I would say that it's either what you said or me maybe fearing the light or a combination of the two. I don't know.
All I know is that I'm at a huge crossroads in my life. I'm doing well for myself financially. I am making over $400 a month more than my living expenses which is huge for me plus I have at least a few grand coming in next month. If I keep working and saving up money, I could expand on my dropshipping side business and possibly scale it to 6 figures within the next year if I reinvest some of my extra money into it.
This is what I've been fighting for for so long and I long since gave up everything for money including most of my friends and some other things that used to make me happy assuming I could just buy all of my problems away and sate this emptiness inside of me. It is clear that I wasn't entirely correct and the last several years of my life have been wasted. If I could have acted sooner, perhaps I wouldn't have wasted so much of my youth away.
I don't know. I'm conflicted and confused about a lot of things. What I wouldn't give for a mentor in my life right now.
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Do you think it's the fear of change... from having to struggle for what you want to actually seeing it come together? I don't think you wasted anything, you learned life lessons from your past - that makes it invaluable time spent. Life is a constant learning experience, we each learn differently and at different speeds. Just because you are "behind" in one area (socializing), doesn't mean anything. You Excel in many other areas others are lacking in (knowledge, will power, sense of "self", etc). We all have things we need to work on, and things we are good at. You know what you need to work on. That's an advantage. Some people have to have it pointed out to them and even then prefer not to see it. As far as I'm concerned, you've done well for yourself and still are. Keep up the good work and stop being so hard on yourself!
*hugs*