I know what you mean. I guess a way of putting a positive spin in the experience would be to see those people as role models? The obsessions and longings, so long as they dont get out of control, could be useful in the sense that they propel you into making changes, and the stronger the feelings are the greater the motivation to change!

So although I totally understand it hurts, it could be that it's not all bad and that it could be a vehicle for moving forward in your life